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-ambulance


Sunday, May 15, 2005

rainy days seem to increase the flow of weird thoughts to my brain.

just now as i was in the car and it was raining super heavily, with lightning and all, i felt really like peaceful suddenly. i dunno, i guess i just like the feeling. of everything being really stormy outside and there's like this envelope of dryness and warmth around you. it's been like tt since i was a really small kid, weird as it may seem. and ok i just realised. it's a little like having God. like everything around you can be all screwed up, and it does sometimes seem all screwed up to me anyways, but i guess i take comfort in knowing tt God is with me and that everything will be ok coz He'll always protect me from everything. he does what's best for me.

then the car was on the ECP, passing tt esplanade area, and i went past a hotel. and there were all these windows, some with lights and some in darkness, and i dunno why it just seemed so significant to me at the time, that each light meant that someone was in there, and they were all doing different things one on top of each other but having no idea of it. and i bet they were all saying oh its raining. lucky i'm in here. but i wasnt in there, and i was happy still. out of point. so ANYWAYS. then i realised tt if that building like collapsed or whatever, someone i know might actually DIE. and then the building would be oh-so-significant to me. i guess it's true, that to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. i dun think i'm the world to anyone, which i suppose is good as it's a big responsibility. oh yeah i was, to my hamster, but he died.

i have absolutely no idea what is the point of this entry. but i just know tt i have weird feelings and thoughts which can't really be expressed. is that weird? i'm not exactly ineloquent most of the time. i am well-versed in creating large volumes of noise. haha get it get it? it's a pun.

ok but anyways. i resolve to learn to make use of JOY and not hide it and i will share it with everyone. i will also stop being mean and nasty to perfectly innocent people, and will let no-one influence me in my being mean and nasty to people.

and another out of point thing i bet you didnt know: Can You Feel the Love Tonight has a gorgeous flute part. i'm listening to it now. gosh. they should really have made the flute louder.