rarrh. today was such a disturbing day.
i believe that all the horrid stuff which happened happened for this reason:
i had to take the bus to school today.firstly, laoshi cried during chinese AGAIN coz she got annoyed at us talking. which made me feel really bad coz... well. i wasn't exactly silent... yea. so after that i tried to pay attention but instead accidentally fell asleep. and woke up half an hour later, after having a strange dream. didn't really learn anything. whoops.
THEN i had to look for mrs chan and she was so
mean. sheesh. and i don't even know why she's being mean, coz i haven't DONE ANYTHING TO HER LATELY! no wait. i've never done anything to her before. SHEESH.
and then wang tong is displeased at me coz of the jin ta thing.
then i found out i failed maths AGAIN, which, you know, isn't a surprise but it's still quite disheartening anyway, especially since i only have about, what, 3 months to pull it up to a1. and the paper wasn't that hard. i swear i could have passed if not for all the careless mistakes.
anyway, i spent the afternoon watching the inside of my eyelids. (the highlight of my day)
then i woke up and was FULLY prepared to go for love mg, but my mom wants me to memorize chinese essays. (ah the joys of chinese. what a beautiful language.) so here i am! at home.
on a high note, she cooked this new dish that tasted like the thing we ate in the hotel in greece. the tomato rice thing. quite nice, i must say. it was the other highlight of my day. IT RHYMES! ah, poetry. haha that's like nicole kidman in moulin rouge:
"ohhhh poetry! i LOVE poetry!" *rolls around seductively*
HA HA HA.
ok. i'm so sick of chinese, i am actually LOOKING FORWARD to going out for dinner on monday with li dee and nic. as in, i am seriously feeling excited about it. and then there's acjc concert which i really hope is good. coz it's EX...
pffft.
I WANT TO BE YOUNG AGAIN.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
here's another funny convo!! hahahahaa. by miss van heng...
_mu you gotta wear your glasses during maths to improve division says:
why did you not want kids again?
seek the truth says:
i prefer dogs to children
seek the truth says:
i don't want to be fat for nine m,oths
seek the truth says:
i don't want to breast feed
seek the truth says:
i want to go on holidays without worrying where should i dump my kids
seek the truth says:
i want to be alone with the man of my life alone
seek the truth says:
dogs are way way better than kids
hahahahahahhahahaa. weird.
now back to ss.
tessa is darn funny! hahaha
† tessa wish you were here says:
hahah
† tessa wish you were here says:
love, accept it.
† tessa wish you were here says:
dont try to force it out of your system
† tessa wish you were here says:
haha
† tessa wish you were here says:
you will get stones in your bladder if you try to force out poo
† tessa wish you were here says:
but i am human. I AM EVIL, SELFISH AND UNCONTENTED WITH WHAT I AM AND I AM DISGUSTED AT HOW I FEEL BUT I REALLY JUST WANT TO BE A SHEEP NOW THANK YOU.
† tessa wish you were here says:
ok know alot of my problems because i make everyone listen to them haha
_mu pio bractical, haha. says:
i hear it's therapeutic to share your troubles
† tessa wish you were here says:
yeah
† tessa wish you were here says:
hahah it makes me feel better
_mu pio bractical, haha. says:
so be sharing
_mu pio bractical, haha. says:
dun be selfish
† tessa wish you were here says:
its like. releasing urine when you really need to pee.
hahahahaah.
i ate thai fish and rice and mango for dinner at holland v. very nice, i recommend it to you. the chin chow also. SHIOKKKK.
i think it's fairly likely that when you first meet a person, you tend to be afraid to really be yourself, to show your whole true self and have no qualms about it. either you find you cannot bring yourself to reveal too much, or you don't want to. it is only after some time that you can just let go, and be yourself.
however, it's quite a different thing when you know someone so, so well, and you think you know them inside out, but then suddenly you stumble upon an unknown trait, or habit, or even characteristic of the person. and this trait is something so unlike the person, that you can't help but ask yourself if you're dreaming.
well. i know i'm sometimes wary of revealing too much of myself to others. especially those who i'm not close to. actually no. i think i generally don't like to share whatever deep dark thoughts i may have with people. (not that i have lots of deep dark thoughts anyway.) and i'd understand perfectly if someone else doesn't really wanna be transparent from the beginning.
but then the second circumstance also applies to someone i know. and this discovery has bothered me. it's bothering me very much actually.
coz i'm really disappointed in this personi don't know why. i guess i'd just like to think that things are, and will always be, just like they were when i was young(er). it is true that as i grow older, my eyes seem to be opening wider (not literally) and i'm seeing this person in a worse and worse light. or perhaps it's just that the person really IS changing. whatever the circumstance, i never thought that things would EVER get this bad.
i know what i should be doing.
i should be praying. for God to take His place in the centre of this person's life again.
i should be showing love, showing patience. trying to open this person's eyes, coz perhaps he/she needs to look around, and see that things ARE bad, whether he/she likes it or not.
yet it's so hard, when all i want to do is spend as much time away from this person as possible, to leave him/her to continue to wallow in his/her own world of... i don't know. seaweed? i don't even know if i've the power to influence this person, or if i have the authority to do so. in short,
i do want to give up. but that the same time, that's just what i shouldn't do.
life is full of conflicting ideas, choices and, once in a while, crap. but then it's also a very beautiful thing. if i hadn't been blessed with my life, i'd never have lived to see all the gorgeous sunsets from my bedroom window, never known all the friends who have truly touched my heart, never tasted hershey's dark chocolate, never learned, never loved, never laughed till i cried. so i still say this:
thank you God for my life. it's perfect in every way, though i've made many wrong choices in it, and let God down many times. i hope this time i'm not gonna let Him down again. i hope i'm gonna make a difference to this nasty situation somehow, in some way or another.
hence, these are the things i will strive to do:
1. i will love this person, regardless of how wrong i feel he/she is
2. i will be patient, to not only this person, but to everyone.
3. i will stand up for what i believe in. i will not follow along with the crowd just because it's, well, the crowd.
4. i will try to be friendlier to people, and not be dao
5. i will stop thinking that i cannot do things, stop being afraid to do things. i will give everything up, right into God's hands, coz He can use me to do
anything.You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God aloneit's called faith. trusting God to do the undoable. trusting Him with the insignificant, the significant, and the life and death situations.
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are thanks God, for being the only constant in my life.