Saturday, September 24, 2005
listening to Mrs Tang talking to us about exams today, i had a very weird flashback... you see, i was sitting in the ava room listening to her rather heart-wrenching speech (a little woozily, i'm afraid) when suddenly something she said struck me: "don't give up on me... coz i'm not gonna give up on you."
for a second this gigantous wave of -oh, how does one say it- nostalgia? hit me. (but can't really say nostalgia... it's too nice a word.) and then i realized where i'd heard it before.
Miss Tham. In Greece. During the Choral Competition.
whenever i reminisce about that, this flood of emotions always gushes back. everything rolled into one: thankfulness, anger, sadness, relief, guilt even. because i remember that she very nearly pulled our whole table out of the competition. and then the sec 2s- errh never mind. and i was SO MAD at myself, at Miss Tham, at my juniors, even at the lousy oxygen-deprived old lift. and i just couldn't stop fuming about the whole thing. i remember eliza saying tt i was really scary coz i guess i don't really get angry easily, and i don't think she'd ever seen me in such a state before. i remember Miss Tham calling us down to the lobby to talk to us. remember the seniors telling us to speak our mind, and not to be frightened. i remember Miss Tham asking us "why should i let you sing tmr?" and i remember replying her with. well. ALOT. (shall not elaborate) and then when she told me i could sing and she'd just consider eliza and nic, i remember feeling so guilty, that somehow she was going to let me sing yet i was the one out of the 3 of us who felt the most bitter towards her actions.
don't get me wrong, i do have sufficient respect for her. it's just that perhaps i thought it a little unjust of her. but at the same time, i'm glad that we, The Mulizanic gang, were sane enough and not nasty little lumps in that we didn't bring anyone else into the picture, not putting anyone else down. if she'd wanted us to say more, to present our case if i may put it that way, i'd have had a whole lot more to say. and we'd probably still be in Greece. not that i mind, i happen to like the food there very much.
and during the competition, i recall that we were all disappointed, as we errrh. sucked. (there's no gentler way to put it) and yes, the choir did give up in a way. and i didnt. because Miss Tham was right; i did treasure the opportunity i had to sing onstage. it was in nearly getting pulled out of competition that made me realise how much i wanted to be there. and i'm glad she felt the same way about liza and nic too.
this time, i hope it's not gonna take a NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE (haha) to make me put in my all. yes, it's late, but that's not gonna stop me from giving it my best shot. yes. right now images of tommyng are playing in my mind, images of him standing by the track clapping his hands and bellowing "last lap! it's all in the mind... go, go, go!" haha how corny. but whatever it is, i don't want to let down any of my teachers who have put in so much effort into their lessons, i don't wanna let down my parents, or God, or myself. so i'll just do my best, and i'll never give up. with God on my side, i can do anything.
greece.nic. eliza. dee. kyra. kristin. supermario. the pimple from the window. the fountain swimming pool. level 4 room. prawn shaped seats. the curry maggie mee. orange juice and sausages. carbonara. everest. pizza. hotel oscar. the password "DEBORAHHH". miss tham. victoria. warm ups. chewing gum. dark chocolate. ommonia square. plaka. socks. candy shop. mrs lim pushing andrea out of the train. mrs lim panicking. running. adidas beanie. roadside donuts. milo. eleanor swearing at me from the balcony. sarah's suitcase getting left behind. freezing evenings. nicole, to charissa who was eating m&ms: "your teeth are blue! haha better eat a yellow one, change it back to the original colour." eliza running to the wrong hotel. nicole breaking the telephone. nicole under my bed. nicole on my bed. eliza on my bed. kyra on my bed. kristin on my bed. playing cards. i'll never forget